I just glanced over at my cat, who has taken it upon herself to proclaim her domain upon my comcast internet box atop my linksys wireless router. She has thus acquired the name “Router Kitty.”
She controls the Internets, she has them
Moreover, upon her noticing my gaze in her direction, she let out a completely silent “why are you staring at me” ‘noise.’ The only reason I know this is because of the barely audible smack of her jaw opening and closing. She is an odd one. Though seemingly a bit more sane than my other cat who has inexplicably become terrified of any ceiling fan he so happens to encounter.

Day four of my cleanse… Hunger pain is really no more than they were on day one. My headaches are coming and going, though considerably less than when I first discovered my caffeine withdrawal.
This is the longest (thus far) that I have ever gone without food… I think… The only reason I say that is because when my most recent ex left slightly under 2 years ago. I went about 2 weeks consuming little to no food. (I have thought about marketing that as the “heartbreak diet” down in Hollywood, and I am still convinced that I would make a killing). This is partially a personal test to see if I have the will power to follow through with this. and more so partly to get my ass back in shape and detox from all the horrible things I’ve been doing to myself with drinking, smoking and eating like crap from time to time. Though I guess a vegetarian who is eating like crap could equate more often than not to an omnivore eating well… There are many times while in the sweet sweet company of delicious smelling food I have felt my moral fiber and strength weaken and that salad or pasta with vegan sauce looks so enticing. Luckily I have been able to abstain.

One of my best mates seems to have devised some sort of sick test for me: leaving his food in my fridge. Ass. Granted the only time I open it is to retrieve the maple syrup, but when I do I tend to eye the Hummus in there with lusty contempt. The whole “I love you, but I hate you because I cannot have you” syndrome.
I digress to my bottle of Lemonade. Which recently I have figured out that it taste almost exactly like “Russian Tea” my mom used to make for my when I was little.
If my memory serves me right, Russian Tea was a mixture of Tang, (yes, Tang) with Sugar, and Cinnamon. I can only begin to imagine the health properties it contains. *please note sarcasm*.
Upon this realization of similar tastes I was rather please to discover I now have a way of having my sweet and spicy tea but at a lesser coast to the size of my ass and my sugar intake, among other various ingredients that I probably cannot pronounce.

*New Russian Tea*
ingredients
8 oz of water
2 tbsp of FRESH SQUEEZED lemon juice
2 tbsp of organic grade B maple syrup
Cayenne pepper to taste

directions
Mix together and heat


This is a fairly simple process and if you cannot accomplish it I suggest you promptly remove yourself from the kitchen to a remote location and shoot yourself. We wouldn’t want you procreating anyway.

Back to the lemonade stand.