I open this up and wish I could express how I’m feeling lately. But every time I try to put something in to words, it never comes out right. What do I have to do? Because nothing seems to be working…

Actions may speak louder than words, but when words are all you have they cut deep.
“you dont care how I feel?”
“When it comes to my friends that directly impact me, no i do not.”

Why does this feel all too familiar sometimes…
I feel as if I have to put on a display of epic proportions at times to garner any sort of attention, unless I’m needed for something. Ever closer to the door, holding breath and holding out. Feeling as if it’s as elusive and everlong as it has ever been.
I love. I love, not because I need to, but because I want to. People seem to have such a hard time distinguishing the difference between those two. Pushing the envelope will only you get you so far. You can only bite the hand that feeds you so much.
I admire people for not being alike, for being true to themselves and speaking their minds. I aspire to keep myself true to my soul and my individuality that is simply by being me. With this admiration comes the understanding that no two people are (hopefully) alike. Ergo, no two people will react to any situation the same. With an open mind and awareness you can observe and digest these different scenarios, internalize them and conclude whether they are fact or fiction, and chose to keep or let go. Having nothing to lose and everything to gain. What harm came come from a new perspective, absolutely nothing. You still have the creative license and right to maintain your previous thoughts and opinions or now the gained ability to alter and expand.
Pride is an evil passion; spawned of insecurity and fuel by fear. The hardest critic we have to face is ourselves, the most difficult task we’ll ever have to undertake is to look inside and acknowledge what we’re really feeling…

Music overtakes me and I drift off into a sea of oblivion… I need to be alone…