“You must feeling like laughing at someone.”

“When I do, I look in the mirror.”

I just saw something that reminded me of something and when I looked it up it was gone.

They key is not to crack. It all hangs in the balance in the air. Dead weight.

Even if we love
Doesn’t mean that you have to be
Always there when you have to see
My own fear of me

Even if we care
Its hard to mean some things
After watching you
Go through
The news

What did it feel like
the moment that you realised
that you had just made
your biggest mistake

did the sky come falling down
all around your feet
like it did when I watched you
walk away

there is no going back now
no time to regret how
you had thrown it
all away, away

the past is unchanging
but my world rearranging
as I watched you make
the biggest mistake

of all

your biggest mistake of all

It’s good to keep things quiet, for these exact reasons.

It’s almost as if I’m being reprimanded for something I didn’t do, but I might actually have done, I just don’t remember. I can’t tell if it’s the anxiety or hangover that’s making me tremble slightly.

The thought of catapulting gummy bears from out the car window onto your front lawn crossed my mind, but that’d be a waste of valuable time and gas money so I left them elsewhere and avoided the whole subject entirely.

The terminal is just that, a destination where things terminate. A place at which I was both reluctant and eager to arrive.

“I need to get to sleep soon,” he said. As much as she was reluctant, this was her cue to go and she did. Zipping up boots and gathering belongings he watched her. Just like he had been all night, though less surreptitious than he probably thought. She could see him out of the corner of her eye while watching tv that he kept turning his gaze back to her, searching her face for something. Perhaps a glance back, but she withheld. This girl, posted up on his bed, within reach.

He had layed down next to her for a brief moment. Their bodies gently pressed against one another as if unsure of the delicacy of it all. His hand would fall across his body and rest lightly upon her arm, he would move it elsewhere and then back again. Neither wanting to be the first to move closer or farther. Her head would rest on his shoulder ever so slighty as the calming sound of his erratic breathing pacified her thoughts.

They made their way back outside to the driveway and paused near the car. Hug, one arm, then both. Long as if to hold on to the moment forever. She pulled back and they locked eyes, it was at this point where they momentarily leaned in slightly as if awaiting a goodnight kiss that never came. As she smiled and reluctantly pulled away with the first step his hand made it’s way down her arm and trailed off her hand and fingertips and he watched her go.

She took three steps and then turned around. “Hey wait!” She said. “Yeah?” he responded, turning around. She froze, just staring back at him, wanting to run up in a romantic display of affection and warm her lips with his in the cold night.

“Oh… nevermind.” She said, turned back around and drove away…

There… I said it. I do.