Islands

I have a bad habit of overlooking things that more often than not annoy me or dip slightly below my own standards… I don’t like to “complain” or “be needy” because I have the capacity to do everything that I need on my own. To give myself everything I need by myself, material and otherwise… I guess it just reaffirms that regardless of how much you give or get you still need to be able to draw most everything from within… At least I do. It’s how I’ve gotten this far and how I’ll keep going. But don’t think that I’m pushing you away, when you’re the one that I’ve kept closest…

I have cabin fever, I find myself search flights every day to random destinations… Greece, Angkor, the given locale of Baltimore, Cook Island, Tunisia, Kyoto… anywhere but here. I feel trapped. Monotony will be the death of me. I thrive with a few particular constants, but its mostly change, new, outside of my comfort zone, being vulnerable, feeling free and to my own devices… Just new…

But at the same time… I some how still feel like this

I don’t have to leave anymore
What I have is right here
Spend my nights and days before
Searching the world for what’s right here

So now I’ll never explore