I am how I feel, I can’t be any other way. Though sometimes I think I overdo it and try to hard to make sure things are 100% perfect and in working order. It’s my nature to want to have no dischord or distress in my life or the lives of anyone around me (though sometimes by Murphy’s Law I end up doing more harm than good when seeking a resolution). And its like learning a whole new language when I learn how to communicate with another being who expresses themself in a way that at times can be far different than my own. Not impossible… just delicate.

The provisional extension of affection is one that I am just as of recent beginning to understand and translate into what makes sense, it’s the same thing… just… different. And sometimes I don’t realise that how I react to something so seemingly ‘simple’ as the willingness of said someone to help with things that need to get done, and my reaction has the potential to cut much deeper than I had earlier percieved. But at the same time, I realise that if I were to be the one in those shoes. I would feel the same sort of rejection on a very similar if not deeper level, so I am slightly perplexed at how sometimes I miss the correlation & connection of my own self and others. Espeically those closest to me. It’s not a conscious decision to be negligent of someone elses feelings, but rather an unconscious motion that I need to work better on being aware of.



On The Inside